'Women can't drive for nuts' - if I got a penny for every time I hear that one, I'd be very rich by now! But this statement has never bothered me as much as it did today. The background to this article is the mandatory 8 hours of driving lessons that every driver in the state of Connecticut has to undergo in order to be given permission to appear for a driving test. As was the requirement, I went through the process of sitting through these 8 hours (which in itself makes little sense to me as this 8 hour class is pure theory and absolutely no road experience!). Anyhow, I duly attended the class.
It was during this class that I realized how deeply ingrained the gender stereotypes we face today really are. The instructor was a man from the Indian subcontinent region. He took his job seriously and walked us through these 8 hours with an attitude similar to that of a Kindergarten teacher. The annoyance with his attitude not-withstanding, I still listened to what he had to say. He tried to incorporate examples into the lecture he gave and frequently drew from his experiences.
One section of the class dealt with the instances of teenage texting and driving. Now the rule in the state demands that teenagers who get caught texting while driving are required to pay a fine and attend a re-training class. Our instructor, while making a point of this made the following statement 'I had a re-training class for 9 kids once. Can you tell me how many of them were girls?' At this point people didn't know what to say. Most people muttered random numbers under their breath, while I was still wondering what it had to do with gender. 'All of them were girls. What does that tell you? That women talk a lot more and so they can't even wait to reply to a text. So ladies, please remember not to text or you will get a ticket' At this point everyone in the class (including the 4-5 girls) was laughing. I was the only one balking at the instructor. Then as an after thought, he added 'Of course, you men should also not text while driving'. What on earth was he blabbering? That only women text while driving? That men don't?! Or that the instances of women texting and getting into an accident are higher? Or was he drawing from the age old belief that 'women are bad drivers'?
And as the class went on, he kept coming up with examples (real or imaginary I'm still not sure) in which most often the protagonist of the piece was of course himself and the 'villain' so to speak was always some woman! What I got out of the class was the underlying message that women are not only bad drivers but also fairly stupid. The feminist side of me wanted to kill him instantly, yet the practical side reigned and he lives to see another day. However, this did get me thinking of all those times that my male friends and relatives have made references to 'women behind the wheel' situations. To all of you, here are some statistics to show how much BS that notion really is. Women, according to many studies, are safer drivers than men owing to their more law abiding nature. The ratio of men driving recklessly compared to women is 3.41 to 1! For every 3 men who drive under the influence of alcohol (or narcotics) you will only find 1 woman guilty of this charge. In the age group of 20-29 years, twice as many men cause accidents that are fatal to them compared to women! And of course, you don't have to take my word for it, here are some links (1, 2, 3, 4) for all you non-believers out there! And for the ladies, please point out that such statements are in fact factually wrong the next time in an argument :)
But it was not just the wrong stating of facts that left me perturbed. It was the fact that we allow stereotyping to determine our views of the male and female gender. Not that this is a new view that is being expressed. But very often we fail to realize that the patriarchal attitudes we are fostering maybe the root cause of far more serious problems such as rape, sexual assault or even the 'milder' euphemism - eve teasing! I read an article recently where the author, the mother of 2 boys, says that she will discourage her sons from making statements like 'don't cry like a girl' or 'women are bad drivers' because these lead them to the perception that women are weak. Such a perception will ultimately result in developing detrimental male chauvinistic attitudes. When are we going to start sensitizing our men? Or teach our children that men and women are different hemispheres of the same sphere? Can we do a better job of parenting than the generation that believed 'boys will be boys'? Or will we continue to use 'traditions' as the background of bring up a society that makes a habit of questioning the woman first?
In a world that's fighting the complex problem of gender issues, there are those who are constantly talking about the injustices of rape and sexual assault. While I am in no disagreement with the need for raised voices on these issues, I can't help but think that there has to be a sensitization at a grass roots level. Even if it is too late for us to alter the perceptions of the current generation, can we be effective in molding the future generations?
