In a casual conversation with a friend I heard something that took me by surprise. We were discussing the possible challenges for men and women at the work place, gender inequality etc., when he made a statement. He said ‘What’s the big deal for women. Most of you find it easier to get ahead thanks to your sex appeal.’ This statement not only took me by surprise but also shocked me greatly. My friend is an educated guy who’s worked in multinational companies before. He’s worked with men and women and is not really new to the idea of women working. So to hear a statement of this nature was a revelation to me.
That women use their sex appeal to advance through the ranks, has been a popular ideology for decades now. The gender stereotyping hasn’t helped alleviate this thought either with the classic depictions of hot secretaries, good looking women pouting at their bosses etc. However, these are probably images from the 1980s and early 1990s. To hear such views from educated, well-traveled men in the 2010s alarms me. It leads me to wonder if these men have ever really looked around at their wives, friends and bosses and really observed how hard they work to get ahead.
Work place challenges are as real to women as they are to men. Completing assignments within given deadlines, getting things done at optimal costs, adding value to the work you turn in, and managing client expectations are the same irrespective of whether a man or a woman handles it. And the last time that I checked, promotions are only given to the achievers and are fairly gender neutral in this day and age.
It is not that there aren’t women who achieve things through questionable means, but here are the facts- these women are few and far between. The honest truth is that most women are trying to shed their gender differences and work to achieve accolades for their contributions rather than the fact that they are women. In most corporates, women work towards mingling with their co-workers and make honest attempts at overcoming their obvious sexual difference. The reason for this is quite simple. Women are most guarded about their reputation. We know that once we let slip somewhere and use our sex appeal to get so much as a photocopy, we will get branded into being sluts. One lapse in judgment and every man in the office (and maybe even the courier guys and clients) will talk about the ‘loose character’ that one has. There is nothing more annoying to a woman than being hit on by all the men in her office- and nothing more difficult to overcome than a bad reputation.
I had a colleague who worked in a different department. She wasn’t the most cautious woman I know and was known to flirt with anyone she needed to, to get her work done. Subsequently, I moved on to different companies and so did she yet till date when I catch up with old colleagues, there is always a mention of ‘the slut’. When I talk to other women, I realize that there are so many of us who shudder to be branded the way she was and yet have to hear statements on how most if not all women use sex appeal to get ahead in the world.
As someone who takes pride in what she does, I often hope that men begin to realize and accept that women are looking for pretty much the same things from their career as men are. There are a bunch of women who use their sex appeal to get ahead but there are also a bunch of men who’d suck up to the boss, cheat and employ any means they feel like to get ahead. So before making a shallow statement give it a thought – our options are to continue adhering to regressive gender biases or to look around and realize that changing stereotypes begins with us!
